I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
