You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm going to jail i love you
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
