Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
