bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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