btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
