You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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