I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
do herpes really smell.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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