fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
