Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
