let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
