You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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