Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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