did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
