is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
