walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
