Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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