How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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