haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's always time for handjobs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
