The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize