First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
