that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize