she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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