I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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