what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
