i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You ate ashes out of my bong
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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