Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
