So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
