fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
