Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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