carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
