So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
