belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
