Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
