life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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