it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Are my feet made of real feet?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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