You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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