Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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