i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
