We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
