Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
