you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
