dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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