hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Randomize
