We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
