There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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