Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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