Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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