Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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