last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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