sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
