Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
