did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
