and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
