ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
