it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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