I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize