I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
