Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I can tuck mytits in my pants

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  (573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26
  Replies (27) Good night (538) Bad night (2686)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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  (479): Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships. http://tfl.nu/he2q
  Replies (70) Good night (1801) Bad night (2756)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero

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  (325): Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero http://tfl.nu/zl6f
  Replies (58) Good night (6554) Bad night (1132)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.

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  (208): Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oxm0
  Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (3212)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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  (417): Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library. http://tfl.nu/8guv
  Replies (13) Good night (1038) Bad night (4837)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

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  (919): Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon. http://tfl.nu/tzl9
  Replies (57) Good night (20670) Bad night (1555)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I won't be sarcastic... just naked

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  (757): I won't be sarcastic... just naked http://tfl.nu/3vff
  Replies (6) Good night (4830) Bad night (935)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  But I thought everyone had breakup sex?

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  (703): But I thought everyone had breakup sex? http://tfl.nu/04j7
  Replies (24) Good night (5185) Bad night (1556)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....

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  (845): I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex.... http://tfl.nu/n100
  Replies (15) Good night (3152) Bad night (1673)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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  (585): Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent. http://tfl.nu/ihl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1624) Bad night (684)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome

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  (716): I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome http://tfl.nu/f4q6
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (1059)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.

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  (406): Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor. http://tfl.nu/e8dt
  Replies (8) Good night (1087) Bad night (562)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.

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  (440): Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin. http://tfl.nu/2sax
  Replies (12) Good night (1043) Bad night (589)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro

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  (250): I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro http://tfl.nu/if95
  Replies (0) Good night (425) Bad night (260)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels

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  (440): My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels http://tfl.nu/oz5l
  Replies (11) Good night (469) Bad night (530)

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