so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
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I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
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You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.