Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Quoting wale wont save you from herpes

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(703): Quoting wale wont save you from herpes http://tfl.nu/v00t

Replies (29) Good night (656) Bad night (2657)
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(541): View more from Oregon

You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience

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(541): You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience http://tfl.nu/ta5s

Replies (13) Good night (1650) Bad night (6457)
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(925): View more from California

I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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(925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing?? http://tfl.nu/da8e

Replies (14) Good night (3703) Bad night (887)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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(614): I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. http://tfl.nu/60nc

Replies (12) Good night (1389) Bad night (4404)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.

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(613): I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable. http://tfl.nu/pwwk

Replies (15) Good night (2314) Bad night (1100)
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(219): View more from Indiana

They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college

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(219): They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college http://tfl.nu/yfmf

Replies (10) Good night (3386) Bad night (595)
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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(512): Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today. http://tfl.nu/tybk

Replies (10) Good night (1477) Bad night (1955)
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(334): View more from Alabama

It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.

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(334): It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls. http://tfl.nu/cfx1

Replies (7) Good night (2035) Bad night (827)
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(623): View more from Arizona

He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon

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(623): He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon http://tfl.nu/msr7

Replies (5) Good night (1556) Bad night (608)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?

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(306): My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck? http://tfl.nu/wbbs

Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (459)
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(408): View more from California

This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually

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(408): This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually http://tfl.nu/dqmb

Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (307)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

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(570): Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile (1-570): FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile http://tfl.nu/2z1a

Replies (0) Good night (952) Bad night (262)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Security deposit gone.

(269): View more from Michigan

burned down garage with fireworks.

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(269): Security deposit gone. (269): burned down garage with fireworks. http://tfl.nu/rlam

Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (745)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.

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(586): I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down. http://tfl.nu/ak0v

Replies (3) Good night (1025) Bad night (271)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Are you texting, crying and driving?

(216): View more from Ohio

And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.

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(440): Are you texting, crying and driving? (216): And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment. http://tfl.nu/yoif

Replies (0) Good night (204) Bad night (383)

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