this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident