Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Call meee

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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  (603): Call meee (781): Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now... http://tfl.nu/j06g
  Replies (3) Good night (1774) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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  (830): I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk. http://tfl.nu/s9wt
  Replies (33) Good night (931) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.

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  (720): It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love. (920): You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit. http://tfl.nu/9jaf
  Replies (26) Good night (1139) Bad night (2735)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.

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  (305): She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back. http://tfl.nu/82hh
  Replies (12) Good night (595) Bad night (10626)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

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  (918): I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass. http://tfl.nu/pyjz
  Replies (15) Good night (609) Bad night (5085)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?

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  (732): I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!? http://tfl.nu/ocr3
  Replies (69) Good night (1817) Bad night (9880)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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  (303): she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip http://tfl.nu/86nj
  Replies (20) Good night (4215) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

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  (845): They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory. http://tfl.nu/jr9q
  Replies (7) Good night (1147) Bad night (3619)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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  (469): Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again. http://tfl.nu/qvag
  Replies (6) Good night (2212) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I would never do this in real life. It's only college.

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  (480): I would never do this in real life. It's only college. http://tfl.nu/l8vq
  Replies (4) Good night (2779) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?

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  (919): Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you? http://tfl.nu/64mv
  Replies (7) Good night (2527) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.

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  (814): I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer. http://tfl.nu/0v9r
  Replies (7) Good night (1486) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.

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  (740): Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake. http://tfl.nu/l7w3
  Replies (6) Good night (709) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

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  (231): My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/e8qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers

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  (509): Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers http://tfl.nu/a1f6
  Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (220)

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