The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
