the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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