You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
