That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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